The weatherman has been tasked with assessing the character of the seasons. Several years ago, with the help of state-of-the-art instruments, he was able to report that winter dances in the rain, that it is prone to bouts of non-alcoholic drunkenness, that it is severely misanthropic, and that it loathes itself (although this last point was later disputed by a fact-check conducted by a neutral third party). A few years later came his momentous dual result that spring is a natural empath with a nonconformist, creative spirit and a taste for indie rock, while summer is “highly intelligent”, “ambitious”, “sensitive”, and a “people-pleasing” “K-pop stan”. These findings have been largely supported by meta-analysis. Despite some minor errata, the weatherman's research thus far is generally well-reputed. More recently, however, he has run into unforeseen hurdles. Despite access to the latest in weather science technology, the last season, autumn, continues to elude detection. The weatherman has travelled to far countries in search of its signal to no avail, costing the weather service a very large sum of money and angering his superior officers. Some leading meteorologists have hypothesized that autumn is simply beyond current experimental bounds; however, this is controversial, and many believe a determination is just around the corner. And so the weatherman watches the ground, scouring for auburn leaves.